Not React To It….
It is often quoted that our journey of life is not controlled by the events that happen to us but more by the way the way that we react or respond to those events.
In fact it is those two words – react or respond – that hold the key to how our life progresses and perhaps more important our enjoyment of life and our successes in life.
Respond versus react is particularly crucial in the way we got along with people. Those people can be our partners in life, our children, our friends, work colleagues and even strangers that we engage with as we travel on our journey.
So as it is so important to get it right it is important to understand the difference.
Over the years the best illustration I have ever come across and the one that has helped me to keep it clear in my mind is when these two simple words are linked to the medical profession.
So let’s see if I can get it firmly planted in your mind as well…..
Lets imagine that you visit your doctor with some health concern. The doctor asks you all the relevant questions and then examines you. At the end of the consultation he decides to prescribe a course of medication which he asks you to take for the next seven days and then for you to come back the next week so he can see how you have progressed.
Next week arrives and as you walk through the door your doctor says “Oh dear you have reacted to the medication. That’s not good we need to take you off them immediately.”
The doctor then changes you onto an alternative course of medication and asks you to return in another week to see if you are any better.
Next week same scenario you walk through the door and this time the comment is totally different.
The doctor takes one look at you and says “ Excellent I can see you are now responding to the treatment so we can keep on with this one until you are completely recovered.
So we can see that medically it is good to respond and bad to react. And that is equally true for all the things that happen our lives.
In fact I would go as far as to say that it is essential that you respond to situations. As responding is a positive action that gives an overwhelming feeling of self-control and empowerment.
Keeping this one analogy in mind can make all the difference in your life. Throughout life we all come across situations that we will put us into a situation of responding or reacting.
Now here is the big difference….
When you react to a situation it is a unconscious or knee jerk process. You draw on information from your past life and come out with the words and actions that are based on past stored information. Whether that information is good or bad is irrelevant out it comes. And it comes out all in a hurry.
Now responding on the other hand is a conscious process that requires you to stop, consider and draw on ALL the information that you have access to in your memory bank and make a balanced and specific response to the circumstances that have been put in front of you.
Responding is a bit like a debate that goes on inside your brain. You may be thinking that I don’t have time to debate, I need act quickly. The brilliant thing about responding as opposed to reacting it probably only takes a couple of seconds for your agile minds to carry out this ‘debate’
But the benefit of a considered response as opposed to immediate react can last a lifetime – especially if it is a response to some one close to you
In an instant of time we always have the choice as to which route we choose.
Unfortunately challenges will occur in our lives that we have to deal with. The difference in the effect that they have on our lives and our future is in that small but significant choice – respond or react – the choice is yours.
At all times you must avoid reacting as it is negative and in many cases destructive. Frequently it also has the effect of escalating a situation rather than resolving it.
On the other hand if you were able to respond to that very same situation it exhibits a positive approach to life and can have the effect of reducing any tension which makes things calmer and by nature the problem solving aspect much clearer.
Ideas of how to deal with the problem that has risen will come much quicker and therefore allow everyone to move on in life with harmony.
Before I close I would like to drop in short paragraph to reassure anyone that is thinking of the occasions when reacting is essential. Those occasions are in times of imminent danger. Don’t worry at those times the reactive part of our brain will always win out as it is a time of what is known as fight or flight and it will always keep you safe in those situations.
So from today onwards aim that in all other situations you always RESPOND to whatever life throws at you rather than reacting to it.